Kool Kakajis from Hot Malwa

Kool Kakajis from Hot Malwa
by Punam Khaira Sidhu

LIKE the “Yuppies” and the “Puppies” the “Kakajis” are a very typical genre of the Malwa region of Punjab. You can spot them a mile off, tall, bearded and clad in snowwhite “Pathanis” paired with Nike or Adidas open-toed sandals. They sport bling-bling gold “Karas” and the very latest in toys for boys; iPods, Handhelds and Mobiles.

The colour of their turbans is usually indicative of their political affilitiation but that’s only until they don golf caps to tee off at the Golf Club.

Sartorial preferences apart, they have a very distinct lifestyle too. They are raised on vast farms in the Malwa heartland, in large joint families, by surrogate Mothers-cum-Nannies who, usually survive several generations and call both the Grandfather and the Grandson by the same euphemistic epithet: “Kakaji”.

Raised in large joint families, Kakajis are the quintessential boys who never grow up. Responsibility is dispersed; hence its not a sought after trait. Life is simple and easy as only inherited wealth and largesse can make it. Schooling is typically in the hill boardings, Sanawar and Doon being particular favourites.

It could be followed by the occasional degree in Commerce or Law, usually in the royal division. Education is not a priority, but a certain savoire faire and some old school ties and networking skills are desirable. After all, someone has to manage all those “killas” (acres) back in Bathinda, Faridkot, Muktasar et al.

Kakajis are usually into a lot of male bonding rituals such as “Shikar”, cockfights and “kabutar” (pigeon) flights etc. While they may not actually get down and dirty, they are responsible for introducing some of the most enlightened and modern agricultural practices in the country. They also display a natural flair for affairs of the State and that’s where the colour of their turbans and their old school-tie affiliations come in rather handy and make politics the next logical progression.

They typically have three homes, one back on the Farm, one in Chandigarh, where the wives take turns to attend to the children’s education or even just catch up with the city life and, of course, the mandatory summer cottage in the hills, to escape the vile Malwa “loo”.

Their cars now truly reflect both their preferences and bank balances. MUVs for the farm and the long dusty commutes from the Malwa heartland, and spiffier cars for city driving. They switch with facility between “thet” (colloquial) Malwai,Punjabi peppered with the choicest expletives to the Queen’s English, each language spoken with the perfect accent. But the same proficiency cannot necessarily be attributed to their written word in either language.

This is the season when the Kakajis flock to Chandigarh. You can see them in their signature “Whites” on the Sukhna Lake, in multiplexes, and in the clubs, accompanied by their little Kakajis who are back home for the

summer vacation and enroute to the Cottage in the hills or for the Sanawar/

Doon Founder’s Week. They are gentlemen of leisure who have travelled the world, but their food of choice is still “Kukkad”, whether its served up as butter chicken with “Nans” or on pizza a la Pizza Hut. So when you hear them call out to each other as “Baiji”, you’ll know it’s the Kakajis at work @ killa.network.