Cellphone Monogamy

Cellphone monogamy
by Punam Khaira Sidhu

MEN typically have polygamous and peripatetic propensities. They are constantly upgrading and moving on. They coast through the whole gamut of toys for boys: Cars, phones, laptops, et al, and yes even newer mates with enviable facility. It was, after all, successful older men, trading in graying spouses for younger ones, who gave currency to the term, “Trophy Wives”.

Women, on the other hand, honourable exceptions notwithstanding, tend to have steadfastly monogamous affinities.

As with husbands, so it is with cellphones. Women find it difficult to upgrade, let alone move on. And it has nothing to do with being techno-savvy. Women surprisingly are very technology-friendly. And I’m not talking about the Carly Fiorina’s but your average Anne.

Women are, today, using more technology than their male counterparts. Take the everyday kitchen, dish washers, ovens, microwaves, food-processors, washing machines and refrigerators — they all add up to quite an overload of techno-logic. Also newer phones really do incorporate increasingly user-friendly technology. So upgrading actually means progressing, metaphorically that is, from stone-age dinosaurs to sleek new age design and comfort.

But women being women will typically think with their hearts rather than with their heads. Don’t be surprised then, if you see a Prada clad female executive or a Dior sporting power-femme clutching a shabby phone — it’s a manifestation of the “Monogamy Syndrome among Women” or MSaW. It should, I believe, pose a tremendous marketing challenge for the cellphone companies.

Of late some successful, single, older women, have shown marginal movement up the emotional evolution chain. No, they aren’t trading in old faithfuls. They are just trying to get a life, after being left behind. They are the ones who have found themselves “toyboys”.

But then not everyone is a Liz Taylor, Gina Lollobrigida, Demi Moore or even a Zeenat Aman, happily sporting a much younger male partner as arm candy. And having found a partner, they then tend to be embarrassingly monogamous. It probably has to do with wrinkles and grey hair looking better on a man than on a woman or then again just plain MSaW.

Would my mother trade in her graying better half for a younger model? Never! Her whole MSaW DNA should revolt at the very idea. So also with her cell phone. It suffers from battery problems, is chipped and worn around the edges and the touch-screen wont respond to touch. But she’s loathe to part with it.

And then my father who values efficiency over mushy sentimentality, bounced off an idea, “How about a little “toyboy” on the side, he suggested helpfully, eyes twinkling with merriment and challenge?”

Suddenly, Mommy seemed to look at her well-worn cellphone in a new light, and clearly the idea of having a reliable back-up on the side was appealing. “Why not!” she twinkled right back, as we watched slack-jawed.

Whoops! Is the Indian woman evolving or what, I ponder ? There’s hope then, that in time, they will get over their MSaW too. But the Punjabi males had better watch out. Women upgrading might spell boom-time for cellphone companies but doom time for MCP’s i.e. 90 per cent of the Punjabi male population.