Army Brats Club

Army brats club
by Punam Khaira Sidhu

AS my sons grow older, moving home or schools is anathema to them. “Please mom !”, they plead, heart in their woebegone eyes, “.. can’t think of life without my friends,……” teachers, grandparents and a huge clan of buas and uncles who spoil them silly. I can almost see my husband, mentally, postponing a much debated career move.

We were different of course. We moved with the luggage, from Pune to Bhuj and Hyderabad to Darjeeling and every place that my father was transferred to. Hostels were never an option. Not when you knew that career choices would eventually take you away from the family. Hence the answer to the question, ‘Where have you done your schooling?” is usually in double digit, plural.

Transfers always came at inopportune times. They also coincided, sadly, with significant milestones in life. Events like school sports days, annual days, school captain elections, freshers’ reception and seniors farewell, convocations et al, so very significant in a child’s life, just passed us by.

After the final exams, when it was time to stand tall and claim laurels for academics and sports, it was also time to help mom pack and label the luggage. Just when one was due to win the school captain’s election unanimously, it was time to move on. Welcome to the Army Brats Club, ABC, stringing together kids, all across the length and breadth of the country, in sacrifices as poignant as those made by their soldier dads.

It’s never easy either moving on or moving in. Children have a strange way of bonding in groups. These groups form early on and breaking in is extremely difficult. It affects children in two ways: they either become complete extroverts or withdraw into lonely introverts, who shun friends and attachments finding solace in books or hobbies, which thankfully, can travel with them. Most kids learn to be tough, carrying on with the business of life, albeit with a lump in their throats. Slowly places and people cease to matter. As long as there is mom and dad, brother or sister and the warmth of well loved books and furniture, it becomes possible to call any place “Home”.

Life is tough but not all melancholy either. There are advantages: new places, fine cantonments, new cuisines and cultures, new languages to learn, excellent sports facilities, and the possibility of a new start every three years. Along the way, Army brats also pick up some sterling qualities. Coping with change and striving to keep up the grades, teaches adaptability, and concentration. Confidence and creativity comes with the varied perspectives of travel, and exposure to different cultures across the country. They develop without exception a desire to excel and a strong sense of self-esteem which is built as kids try and establish their identity, in each new school, starting out as the underdogs trying to make a dent in the status quo. You have to believe in yourself, or perish.